Sad Beautiful Tragic
by flavoredwater
Summary: AU - Regina and Emma had a rocky start to their relationship, but got through it. Now, the curse might just tear them apart again. Can they get through it again, or will it be the end of their relationship permanently?
1. Wonderland

A/N – Hi everyone! If you're reading this, I just wanted to get out some quick details about the story before you start reading. If you're still confused or are curious about something, shoot me a message or post a review and I'll get to it! Italics represent flashbacks. The rating will be _T, and I won't be writing any smut. _It's for your best interest, I promise. It'd be absolutely awful, much like this story already is! Errors are all mine. **If there's a nice amount of interest, I'll upload more chapters. I've already written 4. All are 3,000 words in length! **

**Summary : Swan Queen. The story of how Emma and Regina came together, then fell apart, then came together again. Angst, fluff, happy moments!**

**Details just for you (in case you're confused!) : **This story is AU. Basically, the beginning of the story is past events and flashbacks to fill in plot things and basic information. The story starts off in the past, 3 months ago, with Regina and Emma celebrating their six month anniversary. Once we get past this, we'll be in the present, at their nine month anniversary, and you'll know when that is. If you have any other questions about plot holes or things that don't make sense that I probably forgot to add in, let me know. Sometimes there won't be little fillers in between flashbacks.

***3 MONTHS AGO* **

**Chapter One**

Regina sighed softly as she shifted in bed next to Emma. They had just _celebrated_ their six-month anniversary. Emma had fallen asleep right after, Regina whispering sweet nothings in her ear. As tired as Regina was, though, she couldn't fall asleep. She was rerunning her and Emma's relationship in her head. How did Regina, the ferocious Evil Queen, get together and fall in love with Emma, the perfect and pure Savior. Regina wanted to burst out laughing thinking about it. A while ago, the mere thought of being in love with Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter moved Regina to the point of throwing up. Hell, just having sex with Emma was bad enough back then. She shook the negative thoughts away ferociously and stared into the ceiling, thinking about how Emma and her had their first kiss. Regina had been sitting on her feelings for Emma for a while before the kiss. She didn't know what the feelings were or what they meant. She remembered recalling that saying everyone threw around when they found out we were together, _"there's a fine line between love and hate!"_ and scoffed. Maybe it was true. The curse still hadn't broken, though. There was no telling how Emma would react if it did break. Regina felt like someone was gnawing through her stomach from the mere thought of losing Emma.

_Regina groaned as she went to find her "secret" spot. It's the same spot she went to when she got overwhelmed, which was quite often now that her son thought she was the Evil Queen and the daughter of the Charming's had arrived. Nobody cared to go there or look for her there (as if anyone would look for me, Regina thought), which made it the perfect spot. As she approached the bench overlooking the water, she saw someone sitting there already. A beautiful flash of blonde and red leather flashed into Regina's view. It was Emma. Regina thought that maybe it was just a better idea to avoid Emma and go home and drink herself asleep behind a locked door in her office and avoid the frustration her feelings toward Emma awaken. She couldn't face Emma when she was feeling as vulnerable as she was right now. Hell, the entire reason she came to this bench was that nobody ever came here. Why the hell was Emma Swan here? As Regina stood there, looking at Emma from afar, Regina realized something (for definitely not the first time). Emma Swan was unbelievably, absolutely, unquestionably beautiful. An accidental smile graced Regina's lips as she thought about how beautiful Emma looked without even realizing it. How beautiful she looked when she was cutting down the apple tree. How beautiful she looked when she first brought Henry home. How beautiful she was everywhere._

_Against Regina's better judgment she slowly walked over to Emma and sat down next to her on the bench. A soft chuckle from Emma's beautiful lips pierced the once quiet air. Emma slowly turned to Regina and offered a small smile before letting out one of her signature Emma Swan sarcastic remarks. "Well, Mayor Mills, are you stalking me?" Emma teased._

_Regina scoffed. "If I was going to stalk someone, Miss Swan, I'd choose someone I actually liked." It was a blatant lie and a terrible excuse and both Regina and Emma knew it. They knew what was happening, the feelings and the lust, and how powerless they were to really stop it._

_Emma grinned at Regina softly before staring back into the water. "Well, if you aren't stalking me, what are you doing here? Nobody ever comes here. Especially not this late." _

_Regina released a puff of air. "This is where I come when I feel overwhelmed. I thought I was the only one who came here. I was surprised when I saw you here." Regina softly talked. She was waiting for Emma to get worried or scared or confrontational and fly off like a scared baby bird. As Regina would find out, she never did. Not yet, anyways._

_Emma let out a genuine laugh. Regina nearly gasped at the sound. The sound of Emma's pure laughter was the most beautiful and intoxicating thing she's heard in her entire life. Regina's face was completely frozen as she processed the emotions inside her at the realization of how much she loved Emma's laughter. She wanted to be the cause of it._

_"__I come out here for the same reason as you. Whenever things get tough I come out here for hours and just watch the water move. Sometimes it's nice to have a place to process."_

_Regina nodded. "What's your reason for coming out here?" She asked gently. When she saw the deer in headlights look on Emma's face, she quickly fixed it. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."_

_Emma let out a small noise. What it was about, though, Regina couldn't tell._

_Something about Regina comforted Emma. It made her want to let out all the things she's never told anyone before. Regina felt like coming home._

_"__It's just.." Emma let out a frustrated sigh and locked her hands together; "It's everything since I came here. With Henry. He's so sure I'm some pure, beautiful Savior who rescues cats from trees and saves the world. I don't want to completely break the kid's heart, but I'm not this perfect person he thinks I am. Just like you're probably not the evil woman he says you are. I bet underneath all that tough Mayoral armor, you're just like everybody else, Regina."_

_Regina closed her eyes tightly as she felt a tear leak out._

_"__I'm no saint, Miss Swan. I've done some things I'm not proud of."_

_Emma gently put her hand over Regina's and smiled. "Regina," she whispered. "I think everyone's done things they aren't proud of."_

_Regina scoffed. "It's not just some little thing, Miss Swan. I didn't just steal a few beef jerky packets from a convenience store. Henry's right, you know? About what an awful person I am. But he brings out the best in me. Ever since I got him, he's brought out the best in me. But now, I'm not so sure." Regina was about to break out in full blown sobs, tears leaking down her face. She tried to steady herself, whispering a mantra in her head. Don't let the Savior see you cry. Don't. Don't. Don't._

_Emma had a few tears leaking down her face at this point, too._

_"__Regina, look at me." Emma was talking a bit loudly at this point, begging me to look at her. Like she was begging a scared child hanging from a tree to just gently climb down._

_Again, against Regina's better judgment, she looked at Emma._

_"__Regina," Emma chuckled as if to say _"I can't believe I'm about to do this" _and grabbed my face with her hand, "You're the most wonderful person I've had the pleasure of meeting. Even when you're rude as all hell I can't stop thinking about how amazing you are. How strong you are. How beautiful you are. You might think you're an awful person, but to me, you're beautiful."_

_Emma looked truly surprised the words had came out, confessing her adoration for the woman she was supposed to hate, but the words were truthful._

_As quickly as this conversation started, Emma and I were kissing. _

_Her lips were soft and gentle and they tasted like hot chocolate. _

_As we broke apart, Emma left me with a gentle but confident and cocky smile._

_"__I'll see you some time, Regina."  
>Regina grinned wildly. "You very much will, Emma." She whispered to the now hot air.<em>

_Regina didn't know what she wanted. She had previously just wanted to shove Emma against a wall and have her way with her, but now some doubts had arisen._

Coming out of the memory with a jittery smile plastered on her face, Regina turned over to face Emma. Emma groaned slightly, the consistent sign of her waking up. She did it every time. Regina tucked a part of Emma's beautifully curled hair behind her ear. Emma yawned very loudly before grunting out a barely comprehensible "'m tired" and rolling back over to sleep. Regina rolled her eyes, but she wasn't annoyed. She enjoyed endearing moments like that with Emma. Regina thought back to the first time they saw each other after the kiss.

_Regina walked throughout the town with purpose, looking into all the businesses and residents as usual to make sure nothing is going wrong in the beautiful town she created. Unfortunately for Regina, Emma had the same idea. As the new Sherriff, it was Emma's job to patrol the city and make sure nobody was getting into trouble. _

_As Regina caught sight of Emma's bug driving right near the path where Regina was walking, a pit of anxiety, stress and sadness pooled into Regina's stomach, slowly making way to her heart. She hated those moments – where you hurt so badly, you hurt in your heart, too. She pushed down her emotions as best as she could and quickly turned around with a quick spin and walked as quickly as she could in her heels back to the Mayor's Office. Emma wasn't the issue. Emma was perfect. In fact, Emma was everything Regina wanted in somebody. She was brave, loving, and charming. There lies one of the issues – she was a __charming__. Regina couldn't have feelings for the Savior, the child of Snow White and Prince Charming, for God sakes. Regina scolded herself heavily, the pain in her chest returning again. _

_Her mothers voice echoed in her head constantly, growing louder every time and staying. "Love is weakness, Regina." _

_Regina felt like she was going to retch all over the place, but this wasn't the place or the time to show weakness, especially when Emma Swan was involved. She'd been doing that a lot since Emma Swan showed up on her porch that night. Regina Mills never showed weakness until Emma came along with her Charming attitude. This woman was going to kill her, she was certain of it._

_Emma caught sight of Regina and slammed down the gas pedal on her Bug, fully intending on talking to Regina about what happened on that fateful night two days ago._

_She didn't know how to categorize her feelings with Regina. Ever since she saw Regina the first time, she felt something. At first it was just lust, Emma knew Regina was an extremely beautiful woman, and some of the things Regina did were a bit flirtatious. Still, Emma didn't acknowledge it to anyone else but herself in rare, fleeting moments. And then something happened after I rescued her from the fire. Regina stopped being as cruel as she had been. She showed a rare companionship to me when we were in private. In public it was the same old Regina, constant sarcastic remarks meant to wound you in whatever way she could and casual hatred. _

_In private, Regina was a completely different person. Like on the bench. Instead of yelling at me or trying to purposely make a joke that jabs me in a soft spot, she showed something I've never seen her show before - a moment of emotion. I always had this premade idea that Regina was constantly cruel and she couldn't love anybody but Henry. No matter what she did, it was clear she loved Henry. But showing friendly (or was it more than friendly? The kiss sure said it was) care or raw emotion to anyone was completely off limits, and yet I saw it the other day. _

_As she drove a bit in front of Regina's walking path, Emma stopped her Bug haphazardly and jumped out of the car, barely remembering to shut the door. Regina quickly flipped herself around and started walking in an extremely quick jog-like pace in the opposite direction. Fortunately for Emma and unfortunately for Regina, she had heels on. _

_Emma caught up with Regina and just walked silently next to her for a few seconds, admiring the raw beauty this woman exudes before speaking._

_"__Regina, hey," Emma softly said, "Can we talk? About the other night?"  
>Regina grunted and stopped walking, examining her surroundings to see if there were any unwanted guests around that could eavesdrop. She found none.<em>

_"__Miss Swan, what happened the other night was a mistake. I was feeling vulnerable and I made a mistake. I find you quite obnoxious and I think it would be best if we remained on a professional relationship. I am sorry if I led you on. Goodbye, Miss Swan." Regina whispered the last part like a secret, like she didn't even want to hear it herself._

_Emma stood on the corner of the street with a blank face. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to let them out, not right now. She got into her Bug and drove as far as she could without thinking of Regina._

_Regina walked home and laid in bed while she drank as much apple cider as she could, refusing to cry. _

_"__Love is weakness."_

_And Regina hated weakness more than anything._

_The next day, there was absolutely no sign of Emma Swan anywhere. Although Regina acted like she couldn't have cared less, she really was worried sick. When she did act worried, she played it off by saying she didn't want Henry to get hurt by Emma leaving, and everyone believed her, regardless of the upset and blank look Regina got on her face when Emma's name was mentioned. _

_After dinner was finished and Henry was in bed, Regina convinced herself to go look for Emma. For Henry, of course. _

_Regina stopped by the diner first, hoping she was there. She wasn't._

_Next stop was Mary Margaret and Emma's apartment._

_"__Hello, Miss Margaret. Is Emma home?" Regina asked, pretending to be bored with the idea of Emma. Mary Margaret shook her head no, and with that simple head motion more anxiety and sadness was planted into Regina's heart. More than she already had, anyways. "Have you seen any sign of her lately?" _

_Mary hummed thoughtfully. "I saw her drive off looking really flustered the other day, but I don't know why she was upset or where she went."_

_Damn it, Regina thought. "Thank you, Miss Margaret."_

_Next stop was the Sherriff station. Emma wasn't there, and there wasn't a single sign of life in the station. Regina cursed under her breath._

_A hint of a voice yelled in the back of her frenzied mind – "The bench!" _

_Regina went immediately._

_Emma tilted and swirled her beer aggressively as she watched some pelicans pick on a piece of bread she threw a few minutes ago when she lost her appetite thinking of Regina._

_Emma honestly didn't know why the hell she was beating herself up so much over this. _

_It wasn't her that did anything wrong, it was Regina. Emma genuinely thought Regina was in to her, all the stolen looks and dirty thoughts while exchanging heated words over Henry. Oh, shit. Henry._

_Emma honestly hadn't thought this through. What the hell would Henry say if he knew his two moms were together, or even just friends? He could already hear it._

_"__The Savior, associating with the Evil Queen? It's all wrong, Emma!" said fake imagination Henry._

_Emma felt a surge of anger swell inside her and she stood up and threw her half empty beer as hard as she could at an innocent boat. The glass bottle exploded loudly, echoing like a dreadful scream and shattering all over the boat, leaving random scratches. _

_Emma heard a loud gasp behind her, and knew who it was as soon as she heard it._

_Emma turned around slowly, a concealed look on her face. She laughed a bit. "It took you this long to find me? I expected more from you, Madame Mayor." Emma teased, a downcast look on her face when she didn't get a reply or a smile from Regina. _

_Emma turned around and sat down on the bench again, popping open a beer. _

_Regina joined her._

_As soon as Regina sat down, she was being offered beer. Regina scoffed and let out a small remark about "not being raised without manners" and was surprised when Emma laughed about it, shrugging it off as an effect of the alcohol._

_Emma coughed. "So, what are you doing here? I'd pretend to be surprised you even looked for me, but that'd be useless."_

_Regina sighed. She knew she could never hide her emotions from Emma, even if they didn't involve Emma directly. "You win, Miss Swan. Yes, I came looking for you. Yes, I missed your presence today. I apologize for what I said."_

_Emma stopped mid-swallow and put the beer on the ground. She started looking around in a puzzled way, a very confused look on her face. _

_"__What the hell is with that look on your face, Emma? Why are you looking around like somebody just told you about winning a million dollar lottery?"_

_Emma burst out laughing. "Be-because! Oh, oh man, this is great."_

_Regina was clearly irked. "Spit it out already, then."_

_Emma stopped laughing and stared at Regina with a dopey smile for a few seconds before answering. "You just apologized to me! And it wasn't sarcastic either like usual. It was one hundred percent, absolutely positively genuine. Oh, and I accept your apology, too." _

_Regina tried to look bored by the fact that Emma accepted her apology, but she couldn't._

_It was too exciting. _

_A week later, Emma was getting tired of the tension. Not the emotional tension – the physical tension. Regina had been constantly flirty but when the time came to do something about it, she'd completely switch her attitude and act like she hadn't said anything._

_I mean, were there rules to this? Emma had never really done the slow burn lust thing. She'd never really been in a relationship either, besides Neal. Regina doesn't seem like the relationship type, either. I'm praying I'm just attracted as hell to Regina and there aren't any feelings besides friendliness._

_Regina would be one hell of a frustrating person to deal with, Emma thought. She recalled that saying, "opposites attract."_

_Maybe it's true. Even just a little._

_Emma grumbled resentfully at her hour old donut. This topic was for another time._

_Regina had been getting tired of the tension too, she just didn't let Emma know this little fact. It's okay, though, because she has a plan._

_Henry was going over to a friend's house for the entire night tonight. Regina was going to casually and carefully invite Emma over for a great meal of lasagna and feign being "too lonely to be left alone". Emma, being utterly Charming, will rush right over to help ease my aching, lonely heart. Knowing my looks and Emma's impulse control, this should work out perfectly._

_Of course, Regina thought, there was the issue of both her and Emma's feelings. What if one of us – or both, God forbid – fall for the other? Regina grumbled, discouraged. As much as she enjoyed making other people feel absolutely horrible and relishing in their pain, the mere thought of doing it to Emma was wounding._

_Regina didn't really hate Emma anymore, it was just a gentle dislike. Regina decided it was simple enough to call it what all the teenagers call things like this nowadays – her and Emma were "friends with benefits"_

_The mere idea of labeling what the relationship was made Regina tired._

_Regina exhaled, deciding it was best to leave that topic alone until it was warranted._

_After all, Regina did have lasagna to make. And it was going to be perfect._

_Later on, Emma was at home playing on a busted up Xbox (Henry had given it to her, his reason being "Emma needs to have fun, even if it's through my old and half broken Xbox, Mom!") when her phone rang with a text message. Emma groaned, fully expecting it to be some major Storybrooke emergency she'd have to fix. Instead, she was pleasantly surprised when the name popping up was 'Mayor Mills'_

_"__Emma – Henry is over at a friend's house tonight and I am feeling unexpectedly lonely. Would you mind coming over? I have lasagna and wine. Only if you want to, of course."_

_Emma's mouth dropped wide open. Was this it? Was this the moment she had been waiting for? There was only one way to find out._

_As Emma gave Mary Margaret a cheap excuse as to why she won't be home tonight, Emma started feeling jittery. What if she was just making it all up? What if Regina really is just lonely and is inviting me for some food?_

_Either way, Emma was excited. She bounced excitedly as she turned the key in her Bug and rolled down the streets._

A/N – If you've read all of this, thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I'm aiming for about 40k words. From now on until I indicate otherwise, this story will be in flashback mode to tell the story of how Regina and Emma's relationship evolved. There will be fluff, angst, more fluff, some happy moments, some sad moments..more sad moments..Then we'll get on to the other stuff I have planned, which includes more sad moments.

Sorry I'm a bit wordy at times. I like to cover all my bases.


	2. Treacherous

**Chapter Two**

_Emma stood on Regina's doorstep tingling wildly with nervous energy, flailing her arms around randomly in a last ditch effort to expel some of the energy so she could be confident and smooth around Regina. When Emma was a teenager and getting bounced between foster parent to foster parent, one of her caseworkers had told her something Emma will most likely never forget._

_Emma was merely eleven when she was about to be sent to yet another foster home. This foster home seemed special, though. The parents seemed nice and happy, unlikely all her other foster parents. In other homes she was a meal ticket, but not here. No, not here! In all of Emma's excitement, her worrisome side came out. Emma asked about fifty questions a minute, most consisting with "What if I'm too old?" "What if they hate me?" "What if I'm too ugly for them?" When her caseworker got simply exhausted of the questions, she told Emma to stop worrying in her own special way_

_"__Emma Swan, you better stop worrying yourself silly there, girl. No foster home wants a kid who has more nervous energy than a restless hamster on a wheel. The odds are already against you, child. Don't make it worse with your anxiety. Now stand up straight, and hold your chin up. Be confident, and you'll get what you want more often."_

_The memory immediately snapped Emma out of her anxious ways, as it always did. Maybe it wasn't the nicest way to get a point across, but it definitely was the absolute truth. Nobody wanted a girl who was too anxious, no matter why she was. _

_Emma stood up straight and held her chin up as she waited for Regina to open up the door. However, when Regina did open the door, Emma wasn't expecting what she saw. _

_When Regina opened the door, Emma was absolutely blown away. Emma's mouth was open, eyes wandering wildly all over Regina's body like she was trying to memorize what she was seeing. Regina was wearing lingerie, a black lacy type of nightgown you could see through easily. If Emma had any doubts when Regina had sent her that text, they had all vanished now. Emma knew what was going to happen, and she was ready._

_Regina relished in Emma's look of shock for a few more seconds until she decided to break the silence and help Emma out a little bit. _

_Regina let out a soft chuckle. "Are you going to stand there, Miss Swan, or are you going to come in? I think we could move this outside if you'd really like to."_

_Emma moved her mouth and tried to form a word, any word, but no sound came out except for a few unintelligible squeaks._

_Regina maneuvered her way swiftly throughout her beautiful house and guided Emma into the kitchen. It smelled wonderfully, but Emma hadn't noticed._

_Regina cleared her throat. "Miss Swan, would you like some lasagna?"_

_Emma snapped out of her lust induced haze and her instincts kicked in. She walked right next to Regina and whispered softly into her ear._

_"__I'm not really in the mood for lasagna. I can think of something I'm in the mood for, though." _

_Making their way up the stairs with a frenzy of clothing leaving a trail behind them, neither person felt any guilt or reservations with their decision._

_Emma and Regina laid quietly in the bed, afraid that if one of them moved, it would ruin the atmosphere they created. After they both steadied their breathing for the final time, the reservations came creeping in._

_"__Regina," Emma mumbled, "What are we gonna tell Henry?"_

_Regina stared at the ceiling for a minute, greatly considering the answer._

_"__We won't tell him anything about the situation."_

_"__No? What if he finds out from someone else? Won't that upset him even more?"_

_Regina scoffed. "You mean more upset than finding out his birth mother is having sex with the supposed 'evil queen'?"_

_Emma sighed. "I wish you'd let go of that. You know that's not true. Hell, even when you were being an ass to me I knew it wasn't true. You just want somebody, Regina. We all do."_

_Regina didn't expect this raw answer that left Emma and herself feeling very vulnerable at the same time. After a few minutes, Emma sat up. _

_"__Where did my clothes go? I should probably, uh, get going. Sorry your lasagna went to waste, by the way." _

_As Emma went to stand, Regina flung herself across the bed to grip Emma's wrist. Emma looked down on Regina, shocked and not knowing what to expect. _

_"__Emma, could you..could you..you know?"_

_Emma expected this from Regina. Not wanting to ask others for companionship or favors, putting up a front until the raw emotion came through. And when it did, Regina had no idea what to do._

_Emma smiled. "Stay? Yeah. I can."  
>The smile Emma got in return was worth it.<em>

_When Emma got back to her and Mary Margaret's apartment, it was seven in the morning. Emma had planned this accordingly – leave at a time Mary Margaret would be asleep, so nobody knows about what happened. Mary Margaret didn't wake up until nine in the morning on weekends. _

_Except for today._

_Emma opened the door gently, closing it the same way. As she made her way in a mad but quiet dash to her bedroom, she was stopped by none other than Mary Margaret herself. _

_"__Emma Swan! What are you doing?"  
>Emma stopped abruptly and gently cursed, her face twisted guiltily. She turned her guilty, incriminating face into a wide smile and turned around. "Hey, MM. I'm just coming home from work, like I told you I was doing last night."<br>Mary Margaret looked impatient. "Is that so? Does 'working' leave you with wild sex hair? Plus, you're glowing. You haven't looked this good since I met you."_

_Emma groaned loudly. "Okay, come on. You're not my mom. Yeah, I lied. Yes, I did in fact have sex. It was great, even. But I really want to go take a shower, you know?"_

_Mary Margaret's face fell into a gentle smile. "Emma, I wasn't scolding you. I just want you to know you can be completely honest with me."_

_Emma's face settled too, from a defensive glance into a friendly, inviting one. "I know. I just..it's complicated, MM. I don't even know what to say about it to myself, none the less talk to my roommate about it."_

_Mary's face lit up gleefully. "Who is it?! Oh Emma, ever since you came here I just wanted you to find happiness. Regina has been giving you so much trouble and – I'm just so happy for you!"_

_Emma grimaced. It was like introducing a potential partner to your overbearing mother. "Gee, thanks, MM. Like I said though, it's complicated. Do you mind if I just go shower so I can go do my patrols?"_

_Mary shook her head wildly. "You're not getting away yet, miss. What do you mean by 'it's complicated'?"_

_Emma stayed silent for a few seconds, waiting for Mary Margaret to just drop the entire thing so she could just leave. Instead, Mary let out a loud gasp._

_"__Oh no, Emma! He's not married, is he?!"_

_A look of alarm flashed across Emma's face. She didn't want anyone to think she was sleeping with a married man. In the foggy haze Emma's alarm at being accused of sleeping with a married man created, she let a few details leak too. "No, no! Nobody is married. It's just, I don't know how I feel about it. There's..a child involved. I don't know, it's just difficult. I don't know how I feel about it."_

_Mary squealed shrilly. "There's a kid! Oh Emma. Okay, no, that doesn't matter. Do you..like this person?"_

_Emma groaned. "I don't know. Maybe? I mean, they're nice once you get to know them, and there's a side to them nobody else in this town knows except for me. They said it was just casual sex and I agreed, you know? Why not. But now I'm not so sure, MM."_

_Mary Margaret's face went bare. After a few seconds, she whispered very quietly._

_"__Is it - God forbid - Gold?"_

_Emma felt a wave of heat and nausea rise to the surface. "Jesus, no! I promise it's not Gold. That's just disgusting, MM."_

_Mary Margaret laughed. "I was just making sure. The only other person that kinda matches your very small description is Regina but that would make absolutely zero sense, so I just thought I'd ask."_

_Emma stiffened. "Right," Emma ground out, "Can I go now? I'm gonna get in trouble if I'm any later than I am right now."_

_Mary Margaret nodded. "Just be careful!"  
>Emma ran to the shower, grateful she was free from her roommate's verbal grasp.<em>

_Emma walked into the diner and met Ruby's smile with a nice grin and a wave and sat down on the stools. _

_Once Ruby was done taking and submitting orders, she made her way over to Emma._

_"__Hey Emma! Your usual patrol breakfast?"_

_Emma nodded. "With a salad, too, if you don't mind."_

_Ruby squinted and cocked her head to the right. "Okaay..are you trying a new diet or something? 'Cause if you are, we should totally go to the gym together! It'd be fun!"_

_Emma shook her head no. "Just want to drop it off for someone. I'm hoping they like it. I just wanted a way of saying 'I'm thinking about you' without having to say it."_

_Ruby clicked her tongue. "I knew something was different about you. You seemed..brighter. Happier. Now you're buying salad to drop off? Spill! You totally had sex, didn't you? I mean, if you don't wanna talk about it, it's fine. I just wanna know."_

_Emma turned bright red, flustered at Ruby's question. "It's kind of new and complicated. I don't want the entire town to know, and I'm one hundred percent positive the other person doesn't either. It's just sex anyways."_

_Ruby shook her head to show her disagreement. "No way, Emma. All of those 'just sex' relationships I've had always turn into some kind of romance. Even if it's really short."_

_Emma snickered. "Yeah, maybe for you. I've never had it happen. Besides, this person doesn't do relationships anyways. They're like, the most closed off person ever."_

_Ruby was definitely interested now if she wasn't before. "Mmm, and you don't like that, right?" Emma went to argue, but she knew it was in vain. She knew it all along._

_"__I guess I don't. You don't date someone like this, though. It's really complicated."_

_Ruby sighed. "Is it Gold? I swear if it is I won't mind or tell anyone. I'm just curious."_

_Emma turned a bright, tomato red again. "What's it with you and MM? It isn't Gold. He's not even my type! I mean, come on."_

_"__Well, the only really 'closed off' and 'complicated' person in the town is Regina as far as I know. And there's no way that's going on, cause that's just too interesting."_

_As Ruby went deeper into that sentence, the more red and incriminating my face got. She let out a shrill scream, attracting the attention of everybody else in the diner. She cleared her throat swiftly and came back to the conversation._

_"__Are you serious, Emma? It's Regina?" Ruby whispered harshly._

_Emma wanted to puke. "Oh, God. I knew this would happen. We only had sex once and now the entire town is going to know and I'm going to be ridiculed for years and oh God, Henry is going to find out and –"_

_Ruby grunted at my anxious rambling and made me shut up. "Sheesh, Emma. It's okay, I'm not gonna tell anyone. It's just..that's so unlikely. You hate her guts, and she hates yours! That must be the hottest sex ever. Man, I really need to get laid, Emma."_

_Emma shook her head rapidly. "Ruby. Focus. You can't tell anyone, but I guess as long as you know, is it okay if I come to you? You know, for advice and stuff?"_

_Ruby put both her hands on her chest. "Gee, Emma. I'm really honored. Why not Mary Margaret, though?"_

_The mere idea of talking to MM about anyone's sex life made Emma feel uncomfortable. "Mary Margaret is like a mother figure, you know? You don't discuss your new hot lady fling with your own mom. That's just weird and makes for awkward dinners, Ruby."_

_Ruby nodded. "I know what you mean. All right, I'll be your advice specialist. Although, you're probably coming to the worst person ever for advice. Like, ever."_

_"__Thanks for reassuring me you're the right person to come to, Ruby. Really. I mean it. I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_Ruby giggled. "Hey, I was just being honest. Anyways, your food is ready and Granny is going to murder me if I don't get back to work. Good luck Emma! And by the way, Regina really likes the lasagna from here. I think she'd eat lasagna from anywhere. Anyways, I put an extra slice in for you just in case."_

_Emma felt eternally grateful to have deserved a friend like Ruby. "Thanks, Ruby. Put it on my tab!"_

_Emma took a gigantic bite out of her bear claw as she left, feeling extremely gracious for Ruby and her friendship. At least she had one person to vent to about this situation.  
>-<em>

_As Emma walked her way to the Mayor's office where Regina was working hard, she ran into Henry. "Henry! Hey, Kiddo. What's up? Why aren't you playing with other kids?"_

_Henry sighed and decided to get it over with. "Something's wrong with my mom."_

_Emma stopped dead in the street and tried to act as calm as she could._

_"__What makes you say that, Henry?"_

_Henry squinted. "She's – she's happy. Today, she was nicer to me than she's been in a long time. Since I started calling her the Evil Queen."  
>Emma shot Henry a glance of disapproval. "You know you need to stop that, kid. It's not nice. And aren't you glad your mom is happy? Isn't that a good thing for her?"<em>

_Henry shook his head. "The Evil Qu-I mean, my mom isn't ever happy. Why is she happy all the sudden? What if it means something bad is going to happen?"  
>A pang in Emma's chest exploded for Henry's concern. Emma had felt the same way as a kid a few times before. She told herself this constantly - "If my foster parents are happy, it means they're going to abandon me." Mostly, it ended up being true.<em>

_"__Henry, your mom isn't going to do anything. She's just happy. Sometimes that just happens, you know?"_

_Henry groaned. "I guess. I'm still worried though."_

_Emma chucked. "I didn't think anything else would happen, kid. By the way, how would you think of your mom and I being friends?"_

_Henry's face scrunched up for a long time while he considered the question before he finally smiled a great, wide smile. "I guess it'd be okay. It kinda makes sense, in a way. The Evil Queen and the Savior, friends. Maybe you can save her!"  
>Emma gave Henry a sharp look disciplining him. "Remember what I said about the Evil Queen stuff, kid?"<br>Henry nodded sheepishly. "I know. I just had to get my point across! It'd make a lot of sense. Two polar opposites, together! You're the best, Emma."_

_Henry wrapped himself around Emma's waist and squeezed tightly, running off and soon as he was done showing his affection._

_Emma felt even better about this day. Now she had Henry's approval, in a way, and Ruby's invitation for a friend to get advice from. _

_The only issue remaining was how Emma felt, and how Regina felt. If Regina did like someone in a romantic way, does Regina even like dates? How do you 'date' the most closed off, protected person in the entire universe? Emma wondered if Regina was the type for fancy dates and dresses. Probably not, she mused._

_Another thought struck Emma._

_Even if Regina did like me, why would she want to be seen with me? Regina's beautiful. She could probably be with anyone she wanted. Why me?_

_Emma shook the thoughts away, convinced that was just the foster kid inside of her coming out. She would settle that on another day when it was actually important._


	3. State of Grace

**Chapter Three**

_Emma smiled as she walked up to Regina's secretary. "Is Mayor Mills in?"_

_The secretary nodded before pushing her button to notify Regina of Emma's arrival._

_"__Mayor Mills, Sherriff Swan is here to see you."_

_I heard a small chuckle from the other end. "Send her in, please."_

_The secretary nodded in the direction of the door and gave me a friendly smile. _

_Emma walked in and shut the door behind her, making her way to Regina's desk._

_Emma smiled brightly at Regina, the best smile she could manage. It must've worked, too, because the absolutely dazed and knocked out expression on Regina's face was perfect. If Emma could've taken a picture of the reaction, she would've. It was worth everything and more._

_"__I brought you something. Well, two something's. I wasn't really sure if you liked salad or not but then I got lasagna too, so I hope you're hungry."_

_Regina's eyes widened in disbelief, Emma had brought her food? For no reason other than to just be nice to her?_

_"__Emma, you brought me food?"_

_Regina's tone was full of absolute shock and disbelief. It confused Emma. It really was just someone bringing food to a friend, but maybe Emma had stepped across a boundary to soon. It had only been about a month after all, and Emma hadn't done a real adult relationship before, just her teenage nightmare with Neal. "Is it a bad thing? Should I not have? Shit, I knew it was a bad idea, I'm really sorry, I'll just-" _

_Regina stood up as quick as possible while Emma went through her panic induced word spewing and interrupted her with a gentle kiss. _

_"__Emma. Relax, please. It's really okay. I was just shocked."_

_Emma felt a huge weight lift off her. "Why shocked?"_

_Regina looked down to the floor and clasped her hands firmly together. _

_"__Nobody really has cared enough about me in years to do such a seemingly simple thing as bringing food to me. It's very thoughtful." _

_Emma exhaled. "Well, I guess you'd better get used to it then, right?"_

_Regina laughed and nodded. "I guess I should. Emma, would you like to..?"_

_"__Yeah, I'd love to stay for lunch."_

_Regina smiled her best smile just like Emma had earlier, and Regina wished she could've taken a picture of Emma's reaction._

_Neither Regina nor Emma truly realized the depth of their feelings at that moment. Neither of them realized the depth of the happiness they felt when one of them laughed or smiled or did something that seemed seemingly simple, like bringing one another lunch._

_Emma didn't truly understand the depth of the action. To Emma, bringing someone lunch was such a simple, normal gesture. Everyone did it. _

_But to Regina, Emma bringing her lunch was a beautiful gesture. Nobody had ever cared enough to even ask her if she had lunch or bring up the topic of lunch to her, none the less bring her lunch. Regina knew that even if their relationship never evolved to something more serious, Emma would still have Regina's back._

_As Regina thought this, though, she thought of the curse. Sure, Emma would help Regina as much as possible while she thought Regina was just a misunderstood woman. But once Emma figured out that Regina was the reason her childhood was ruined and her life had been a complete, parentless mess, would Emma still feel the same? Regina knows that if she were in Emma's shoes, she wouldn't forgive Regina. And that's what scared her most, second to losing her son._

_Losing Emma's friendship._

_For now, Regina would savor Emma bringing her lunches._

_Regina had invited Emma over a few weeks later for dinner that night with Henry, fully intending on having Emma eat the lasagna she made this time. Emma seemed shocked and worried about how Henry would react but quickly remembered Henry's response a few weeks ago. Once Emma told Regina the information, she felt so much more relaxed about everything. Of course, telling your son both his mothers are friends is much different than Henry somehow finding out his mothers are something more, but neither Emma nor Regina intended on that information getting out just yet. _

_Regina took the lasagna out of the oven and grinned as she asked Henry if he could set the table. Emma should be here any moment and Regina genuinely hoped that this would blow Emma away. For whatever reason, Regina wanted to woo Emma as much as she could. Maybe there'd be dessert at the end, too._

_As Regina put the wine on the table, the door rang. Henry quickly shouted that he would get it and scattered away furiously to the door._

_Henry smiled toothily as he opened the door. "Emma! Hey!"_

_Emma mussed up his hair with her hands. "Hey, kiddo. You excited?"  
>"To eat Mom's lasagna or to see you? 'Cause I'm excited to do both."<em>

_Emma chuckled. "Me too, kid. I'm glad this is happening."_

_Regina smiled as she walked to the door to greet Emma. Regina decided to wear something she usually wouldn't wear because it was overly fancy, but for Emma she'd make an exception, even if nothing inappropriate happened._

_Emma was having visible difficulty in controlling herself near Henry, not wanting to raise suspicions or taint his still innocent mind. _

_This made Regina smile._

_"__Emma, if you'll come to the dining room, we can eat."_

_Emma perked up at the mention of food. "I'd love to, thanks."_

_As they ate, nobody made a noise, especially not Emma. She had no idea just how amazing Regina's lasagna is and now she felt a bit upset that it was wasted yesterday._

_"__Regina," Emma mumbled over her food, "How are you not word famous for this food?"_

_Regina blushed like a love-struck teenager. "It's really not that good."_

_Henry smiled at Emma. "She always says that."_

_Emma smiled as she went for a third helping. "Your mom is really modest."_

_Regina didn't hear any of it though over her own musings of how Emma could eat so much. It was like a bottomless pit, exactly how Henry ate. Their similarities were so obvious, so blatant. _

_Emma couldn't believe where she was right now. She was sitting in Regina's dining room with their son, bonding over lasagna. She was bringing Regina lunch. She was sleeping with Regina. Just a while ago, Emma was hacking up Regina's apple tree. Regina was digging up dirt on Emma, determined to make her leave as fast as she could. Now, they were eating together like a family. Even if this thing between with Regina didn't work, she'd still be there for Regina as much as possible. Emma hoped Regina felt the same._

_Once everyone finished their dinner Emma shared the idea of a mini movie night. _

_"__Hey, how about we watch a movie together? It'd be a nice end to a nice meal."_

_Henry smiled and Regina found herself loving the idea. Regina nodded. _

_"__Henry, go pick out a movie. Not too long though, mister!"_

_Emma chuckled. Regina was really an amazing mother._

_"__Miss Swan, why are you laughing?"_

_Emma waved her hand dismissively. "It's just – you're such a good mother towards Henry. I wanted so much for him when I..when I gave him up. And he got everything I wanted for him and more. I'm just happy he didn't end up like I did."_

_Regina felt a pit of despair grow steadily in her stomach the more Emma talked. Emma had such a terrible childhood because of her. It was her fault. _

_Regina felt her mothers voice in the back of her head – "Love is weakness."_

_Emma noticed Regina's deer in headlights expression quickly. "Regina? You alright?"_

_Regina swallowed and nodded. "I just wish things could've been different for you."_

_Emma chuckled. "I don't. I got Henry out of it."_

_Regina nodded and started to speak, but just as she was about to talk Henry ran back into the room with his favorite Disney movie – Tarzan. _

_Emma and Henry discussed their shared love of Tarzan while Regina prepared popcorn and drinks. _

_Regina loved how domestic it felt, and so did Emma._

_After the movie was over and Henry was officially tuckered out (two hours past his bed time, a fact which Regina was very upset with) and in bed, Regina and Emma sat together on the couch, subconsciously holding hands and talking._

_"__You haven't seen that movie?! Oh my God, Regina. We need to get you in the know, immediately. This is an emergency!"_

_Regina laughed. She was so hypnotized by Emma. _

_"__It's not that bad."_

_"__Uh, yeah it is! You haven't seen Mean Girls!"_

_"__Well, was I supposed to?"_

_Emma scoffed. "The only people who haven't seen Mean Girls are aliens. Literally everyone has seen that movie!"_

_Regina smiled. "I guess I'll have to watch it then."_

_"__I've got like, three copies. I'll bring it over one night, if you want." Emma gave Regina a shy smile. _

_Either it was the alcohol or it was true feeling leaking out (Regina would later convince herself it was the alcohol before realizing it really wasn't), but the mood was so intimate and so domestic, so familiar. Regina stared at Emma, memorizing every part of her face that crinkled when she smiled, every part that glowed even brighter than it already did, every pure and beautiful part of Emma's smile. It was gorgeous, like a hidden gem._

_Whispering, Emma broke the silence. "What are you looking at?"_

_Regina beamed. "You, Emma. I'm looking at you," She whispered,_

_"__You don't know how beautiful you are, do you?"_

_Emma gasped. "Regina, I – I don't know what to do."_

_Regina asked even though she already knew the answer, "With what, Emma?"_

_"__This. Us. How I feel. How we feel. Regina, It's only been about two months now but – it feels like so much longer. The sex is great, God. But I can't keep lying to myself about how I feel towards you. I didn't intend on falling for you, Regina. I didn't. But God I have and if you don't feel the same way I understand but I just –"_

_Regina felt so overwhelmed, so overjoyed, so genuinely happy she could've burst through the roof. She grabbed Emma by her red leather jacket – the one she pretended to hate but really loved – and kissed her, the most passionate kiss she's given Emma yet. It felt appropriate for the moment. _

_Emma knew the kiss was Regina's way of telling her she felt the same, and it felt like a million pounds being lifted off of her conscience. Emma felt free and loved and for the first time in a very long time, Emma felt like she really had something genuine to be excited about. She didn't even care how this ended – Emma hoped it never ended, but she wasn't one to get her hopes up – because as long as she had Regina right now, nothing else mattered. Everything was going great for once in Emma's life. She just hoped it lasted for a while._

_Regina and Emma were laying in bed after a few hours of loud sex that Henry hopefully didn't hear. This was Emma's favorite part, the raw conversations after._

_Regina's voice cracked the air. It was timid and shy, like a child wanting a parent's approval and pride. "Emma, are you sure? About this?"_

_"__Of course I am, Regina."_

_"__I've done things. You'd hate me if you knew, it's –"_

_Emma left a chaste, gentle kiss on Regina's cheek. _

_"__Regina, I don't make promises often. But I'm going to promise you something now."_

_Regina sat up and looked at Emma, her eyes on fire with fear._

_"__Emma, please. Don't make promises you can't keep. I wouldn't be able to –"_

_Regina put her head in her hands and sighed exhaustedly. How could she articulate this to Emma? How could she? _

_"__I don't want to lie to you, but I'm so certain of how you'll react I can't tell you the truth. I'm getting my son back, and I'm getting you, too. I can't lose you, not right now. I can't take being promised something and then having the promise, the hope, broken. Not again." _

_Emma shook her head. "I don't care what it is, Regina. I promise to you, I swear, I won't leave you. I can't promise you I won't be hurt if you ever do decide to tell me whatever it is you're keeping from me, but I do promise to never leave you, whether we're together or not. I'll always be here to help you, alright?" Emma took her thumb and gently wiped away the silent tears Regina shed. _

_For whatever silly, stupid, ridiculous naïve reason, Regina believed Emma. She believed that Emma wouldn't abandon her, even if things came to be bad with them. She racked her brain for reasons why to believe Emma and she found many, but one stuck with her._

_Emma made Regina more comfortable than anyone else had before._

_"__I believe you, Emma. I do."_

_Emma grinned cockily at Regina and peppered her with soft kisses._

_Cora's voice echoed in the back of Regina's mind._

_"__Love is weakness, Regina."_

_For once, Regina didn't find herself believing her mother's words._

_Emma grunted as she sat down on one of the stools in the diner to pick up lunch for her and Regina. It had been two weeks since that fateful day, and Emma hadn't told anyone about it. She was sneaking around, never coming home at night, even being secretive with Ruby. Emma just wanted to keep it to herself for a while, revel in the feeling of falling for Regina without having to worry about outside pressures. _

_Ruby quickly came over to Emma to take her order._

_"__Hey, Ems. Your usual with lasagna, right?"_

_Emma nodded. "You got it, Ruby."_

_"__How are things going with Regina anyways?"_

_Emma fought off the goofy smile that came up whenever Regina's name was mentioned._

_"__It's going good, you know. Progress."_

_It wasn't a lie. Things were going really good. Regina opened up more and more to Emma each day and Emma did the same. _

_Ruby got really close to Emma and whispered extremely quietly. _

_"__Sex still good, right? No issues there?"_

_Emma groaned at Ruby's usual crudeness. Sometimes it was a bit too much._

_"__No, Rubes. No issues there, I promise."_

_Ruby patted Emma's arm lightly and winked mischievously. _

_"__Just making sure, Emma. Sure you don't wanna give me any sweet details?"_

_"__I see you're still a pervert, Ruby."_

_"__I have to get my fun from somewhere, right?"_

_"__Read erotic stories or something. I hear that's popular."_

_Ruby hummed. "I'll take it into consideration. Here's your food."_

_"__Thanks, Rubes!"_

_Emma promptly drove herself to Regina's office and was now always let in without having to ask unless Regina was busy. It was progress._

_Emma grinned widely at Regina and dropped the food on her desk._

_"__Here you go, lunch. Do I get a kiss for being nice?"_

_Regina snorted. "You want kisses for everything." Emma pouted and put on her puppy dog eyes and gave Regina the saddest look she'd ever seen._

_Regina couldn't resist the look. "How about I give you more than a kiss this time, Miss Swan?" Emma gasped at the insinuation Regina just dropped._

_"__In your office?! What if someone walks in or something?"_

_Regina pressed her call button for her secretary. "Miss Michaels, could you please put all appointments on hold for about two hours? Sherriff Swan and I have some financial papers to work on and it's of the utmost importance."_

_The secretary's voice boomed back. "Of course, Mayor Mills."_

_Emma groaned. "Could you be any more obvious?"_

_"__Oh, please. She doesn't care."_

_Emma let out a growl. "Neither do I for now."_

_Regina shrieked with laughter as Emma cleared off a chunk of paper from Regina's desk._

_Emma got home that night a lot earlier than usual and was surprised when she walked in and saw Mary Margaret sitting right there in the kitchen, positioned so she was facing the door. It was suspicious, like a staged intervention, and Emma felt bad about it._

_"__Hey, MM. What exactly are you doing?"_

_Mary Margaret cleared her throat extremely loudly._

_"__Well, I know who you're doing."_

_Emma stopped dead in her tracks._

_"__MM, I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"__Oh, you liar! I know you're sleeping with Regina."_

_Oh, Shit. Emma flushed bright red. _

_"__Are – are you mad?"_

_Mary Margaret started laughing. "Mad you're sleeping with Regina? No. Mad you told Ruby first? Yes." Emma let out a loud sigh of relief. She respected Mary Margaret's opinion and insight. She was like the mother Emma never had._

_"__How do you know I told Ruby?"_

_"__I asked her if she knew anything about who you were seeing and she spilled her guts. She swore vehemently she wouldn't tell anyone but me though, but it was 'too urgent and exciting' to keep cooped up forever. I'm not mad, I promise."_

_Emma sighed, although she wasn't mad. It was better than Ruby telling someone else._

_"__Well, I guess you know now, yeah?"_

_Mary nodded. "Is it more than just sex, Emma?"_

_Emma shuddered. "Ew, I hate talking to you about this. It feels so weird. But yes, I – I think it is." Emma admitted, a flustered smile gracing her face._

_Mary Margaret got up and hugged Emma. "I'm happy for you, Emma. Just be careful, okay? Regina and I have had many difficulties, but I believe she can be a nice person. I just don't want to see you get hurt, all right?" _

_Emma laughed as she hugged Mary Margaret tighter. "I'll be okay, I promise."_

_Mary Margaret nodded and grabbed her coat from the sofa. "Well, I'm meeting someone for drinks, so I'd better get going. Bye, Emma."_

_Emma waved goodbye to Mary Margaret and took a shower and went to bed, thinking about how happy she had been for the past three, almost four, months. _

_A part of her was dreading the next part, the part after all the happiness._

_If there was anyone Emma preferred to be hurt by though, it was Regina._


End file.
